Diving into how addiction affects relationships
Let’s face the facts: there’s a stigma around addiction, especially when it involves romantic relationships. Active addiction can take a toll on any relationship, romantic or not, and there are many ways addiction affects relationships. Some people enter relationships completely sober, but fall victim to addiction later on in life. Other people in active addiction enter relationships with partners who think they can “fix” them and take it upon themselves to lead their loved one to sobriety. So, how does addiction and recovery affect a romantic relationship? Let’s find out.
Financially
No matter what you’re addicted to, your addiction costs money. Someone in active addiction most likely has already figured out how much their drug of choice costs, where to get it and where to find money for it. However, those who become addicted while in a relationship will be figuring these things out at the expense of their partner. According to Addiction Center, “Vicodin® (the brand name version of acetaminophen/hydrocodone) costs about $126 for 100 pills (or $1.26 per tablet)…the same pill costs $5 on the street, or $500 for a bottle of 100.”
Other pills can cost anywhere from $2 to $20 on the streets. Heroin addicts, however, spend between about $22,000 to $91,000 a year while cocaine addicts spend an average of $90 a gram. Talk about an expensive addiction!
When someone begins their addiction in the midst of a serious relationship, addicts may resort to stealing money from joint bank accounts or even straight out of a partner’s wallet leading to mistrust and financial problems. Those in active addiction may feel like they’ve let their partner down and can’t provide for them due to the cost of their addiction.
Sexually
Not only do drugs affect libido and erections, but they also can lead to infidelity in a relationship. But first, how do drugs affect sex drive? Drugs affect sex drive by limiting male libido, erection, ejaculation and even fertility. Although not all drugs have an effect on sexual activities, some drugs do restrict blood flow to the penis or spinal reflexes.
Aside from physical detriments, addiction can lead to cheating on your partner. If you engage with others who are also using, you may feel more drawn to these people as if they understand what you’re going through, and turn to them when you need to fulfill your sexual desires rather than your non-using partner.
Other ways addiction can lead to infidelity is by altering your state of mind and performing acts you normally would not do if you were sober. For instance, sober you is aware that cheating on your partner is wrong, and is something you never want to do. But, when a substance such as alcohol is brought into the picture, your state-of-mind is altered and can lead you to cheating, and sometimes not even remembering your affairs the next day.
Emotionally
It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that addiction takes an emotional toll on relationships. As discussed previously, financial and sexual issues lead to mistrust and hardship, leading to a greater emotional effect on both the addict and the partner. An addict’s partner may grow to resent them due to their addiction. Although some drugs can be administered for medical reasons, most addicts are using substances illegally, leading to criminal behavior. According to The Stigma of Addiction, “the nonuser may see his/her loved one as a criminal rather than an individual with a medical disorder who needs treatment.” In this case, love, sympathy and compassion may not be present in the relationship any longer, and thus begins the end of the relationship.
On the other hand, some partners choose to stay with their addicted partner and try to “fix” the problem themselves. (They can’t!) Addiction treatment should begin in an accredited facility dedicated to helping those struggling with substance abuse. When nonuser partners realize they can not fix the problem themselves, they may become depressed or irritated. Because addicts aren’t always able to explain why they are using or what is deeply troubling them, partners assume it is their fault and feel like they have failed. The emotional toll is now thrust upon both the user and nonuser.
Treatment & Solutions
There is no one “solution” to addiction. However, there are plenty of treatment options and routes to recovery. New Day Recovery has a complete, comprehensive medical system set-up to ensure our clients receive top-notch care and maintain a healthy lifestyle after inpatient treatment. New Day has two detox facilities located in Mahoning and Columbiana Counties, as well as two residential facilities— female residential in Mahoning County and male residential in Trumbull County.
If you or a loved one is struggling with substance abuse, please call our admissions line at 330-953-3300 or visit us online.